Interesting people 7 things they all have in common

Interesting people 7 things they all have in commonInteresting people 7 things they all have in commonIve written about a lot of research from experts ongetting people to like you, beinginfluential andhaving great conversations.Whats the best way to use all this information to be more interesting?1) Dont be boringSometimes the best offense is a good defense. Look at it like the Hippocratic Oath of conversationsDo no harm.Were all terrible at realizing when we bore others because, well, we all think were just fascinating.The 1 tip for never boring anyone comes fromScott AdamsBe brief, be positive.If youre always to the point and stay upbeat, its extremely hard for anyone to accuse you of being poor company.But sometimes you do need to speak a little longer to make sure things dont get stilted.The Art of Civilized Conversationoffers another good tipIs anyone asking you questions about what youre saying?If not, maybe its time to end the story or ask the other rolle a question.(More rapp ort building techniques arehere.)2) The most captivating people are often good listenersImpressing people can be great but it can also devolve into status jockeying, one-upmanship and envy.People love to talk about themselves and there are a dearth of good listeners.Let the other partie talk.Itgives their brain as much pleasure as food or moneyTalking about ourselves- whether in a personal conversation or through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter- triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or moneyYou can make an excellent impression by saying amazingly little.Ironically, the people we like the most often say the least.(Learn how to listen like a hostage negotiatorhere.)3) Talk about the other persons interestsThis is straight fromDale Carnegieand if youre not that socially adept, this is as straightforward as it gets.Why struggle to guess what most peoplemightfind generically interesting?Ask people what theyve been up to or what their hobbies are. Then talk about that.Youre now 80% of the way there.If you know about the subjectthe similarity will bond you.If you dont, ask them to explain and bea great listeneras they talk about something they love.(More on the science behind Dale Carnegies classichere.)4) Have three good storiesComedians dont just talk aboutanything when theyre onstage. They have their act rehearsed.You dont just trot intoa job interviewand say whatevers on your mind.Always have three good stories on hand that reliably entertain, inform or engage.Another tip fromScott AdamsPeople are generally more interested in stories about people rather than things.Drama, gossip and reality TV are successful for a reason. We all find human behavior fascinating.On the other hand, most people dont want to hear about the features on your new iPhone.(More on how to tell good storieshere.)5) Dont forget charismaIts not all about the words. Some people are engaging but if what they said was transcribed, it would be unimpressive.When youre speaking emotionally, the words only account for 7% of what get conveyed. Seven percent.Voice tone and body language are far more important.ViaThe Heart of Social Psychology A Backstage View of a Passionate ScienceOne often quoted study (Mehrabian Ferris, 1967) found thatof all the information conveyed to another person when we say something that is emotional (not informational), only 7 percent is contained in the actual meaning of the words we use.Laugh. Smile.Be passionate. Gesture. Modulate your voice. Dont just sweat the words.(Heres how to becharismatic.)6) Be somewhere interestingGot a say in where youll be at, as with a date or meeting?Pick someplace stimulating.Context matters.In general,were lousy about realizing where our feelings are coming from.Research showsexcitement from any source is often associated with the person youre with - even if theyre not the cause of it.Why do people find musicians so captivating? The music and the crowd stimulates emotions - and w e viscerally associate those with the band.MIT Behavioral EconomistDan Arielyrecountsa relevant study he didWhy does this happen? Ariely thinks it might have something to do with misattribution of emotions Sometimes we have an emotion and we dont know where its coming from, so we kind of stick it on something that seems sensible. In other words, your strong feelings about the music might make you think youre having strong feelings about the lead singer.(More on the power of contexthere.)7) Live an interesting lifeRemember the theme ofDon QuixoteIf you want to be a knight, act like a knight.If you dont read, watch and think about generic things, generic things are less likely to come out of your mouth.This doesnt need to be expensive or difficult.Hang out more often with the most interesting people you know.The friends you spend time withdramatically affect your behavior- whether you like it or not.The Longevity Project, which studied over 1000 people from youth to death had this to sayThe groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become.InThe Start-up of You, Reid Hoffman and Ben Casnocha talk abouthow the best way to improve particular qualities in yourself is to spend time with people who are already like that.The best and most reliable way to appear interesting is to live an interesting life.And to pursue that ends up being far more rewarding than merely making a good impression on others.Join 315,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related posts8 Things The Worlds Most Successful People All Have In CommonWhat 10 things should you do every day to improve your life?How To Make Your Life Better By Sending Five Simple EmailsThis column first appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree.